Christians often have diverse perspectives on selecting a spouse, all rooted in the concept of aligning with God’s will. They generally agree that there’s a person destined for them, and it’s their task to discover this “ideal match” using divine guidance found in the Bible. This choice significantly influences marital bliss and fulfilling God’s plan. However, it’s common for Christians to worry that straying from this path, either intentionally or accidentally, may lead to marital discord and divorce.
The Bible does not directly address the question of “Is he or she the right one?” Instead, it teaches that the right question to ask is “Is he or she the right kind of person to marry?” Proverbs 18:22 states that it is good for a man to find a wife and get married, and it is good for a woman to find a man and be married as well.
The Bible emphasizes the importance of finding the right kind of wife or husband, as it is God’s will for you to receive His blessing. Abraham and Isaac’s experiences are not the norm, as they were significant figures in the covenant God made with Abraham and the line of messiah. The normal Biblical approach is to choose whomever you desire to marry as long as you choose the right kind of person according to God’s priorities and commit yourself to following God’s standards for marriage.
God’s teachings emphasize the importance of avoiding intimate fellowship with unbelievers, as they are still in spiritual darkness.
Christians should prioritize their identity and avoid being bound together with unbelievers, as marriage is not the same as friendship. God wants Christians to marry other Christians, and their beliefs and values are established upon the Word of God. Christians need continual encouragement to trust and obey the Lord, while unbelievers do not. Dating unbelievers is emotionally dangerous, and Christians should be wise in their decision-making, as they may be playing with emotional fire.
John MacArthur wrote:
What usually goes by the name love in popular culture is not authentic love at all; it’s a deadly fraud. Far from being “all you need,” it’s something you desperately need to avoid. The Apostle Paul makes that very point in Ephesians 5:1–3.
He writes:
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
The command “walk in love, as Christ loved us” emphasizes the Christian’s moral obligation to walk in love, recognizing God’s love as the central principle. Romans 13:8–10 says, “The one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments are summed up in this word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”
Galatians 5:14 emphasizes the importance of love, as it fulfills the whole law. Jesus emphasized the first and second great commandments, stating that love is the bond of perfection. Paul’s command to walk in love emphasizes kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness towards one another.
Christ serves as a model for selfless love, as He sacrificed His life for His people. If God loved us, we should love one another, as stated in John 4:1 and to ensure a successful marriage, it is essential to read the book of Proverbs multiple times and take notes. In addition, study the Gospels and every command Jesus said, and compare your walk with Jesus and your potential spouse’s walk.
If one partner is not fully committed to Christ, it may be a conflict of interest. Most power over the world was given to followers of Christ, not mere believers. Additionally, read 1 Corinthians 13 repeatedly, as it is the Love chapter. If your spouse is not interested in this aspect, continue moving forward. Remember, the power of the world lies with followers of Christ, not just believers.
Marriage between believers and non-believers is not necessary for a successful relationship, as Jesus saves, and you are not Jesus. It is crucial to choose wisely and patiently, as God does not rush.
Marriage is crucial to God, as He will reveal the future spouse through His guidance. An intimate relationship with God is essential, as seen in Genesis where Adam received the breath of life directly from God and Eve was formed exclusively by God’s hand. Marriage is a spiritual battle, as Satan wants it to fail.
To ensure a successful marriage, listen closely to the Holy Spirit, who will tell you the condition and motives of the other person’s heart. Open spiritual ears and listen to God concerning what He tells you, as it is 100% right every time. Remember, Satan and demons are not people, and they can manipulate you if you let them.
this was researched and written by Hlubi.
References:
Deseret News:
Among The Tares